When you go through something like I have, it makes you question everything you have ever believed in and it shakes you to your core.
After my husband died and all that was involved around his death, I began to wonder if I really believed what I thought I believed or if I believed it just because he wanted me to or required me to. What I have discovered it that I am who I am and I believe what I believe and I will not waver or change in my beliefs.
I am not as strict as he was in demanding perfection. I am more grace orientated. I do accept we are people and we have flaws, desires and ways of life that are different each other but that does not make a person bad or disqualify them in any way what so ever.
I am a person who loves to worship and will always be a worshipper. I may not need to hear a preacher preach or go to a Sunday school class to fulfill my needs spiritually; worship fulfills that need in me. Everything I do revolves around my desire and need to sing and worship. I need to worship corporately. I need to feel the spirit in a corporate way with other believers. I need to soar into the heavenliness every time I engage in worship. There is no substitute for worship. This is what I have discovered about myself. And I like what I have discovered.