John Maxwell recently wrote a blog post on character http://goo.gl/fb/hSXjO
It caused me to think. There are a lot of things that cause me to think.
I created this blog and my twitter account with an anonymous identification because I honestly did not know what would come out of me in my pain. I know a person’s real internal character will leak out all over when they are broken and hurting. In ministry and in life in general I see this all the time. I know some people are so embarrassed by their behavior when they were hurting once they recover. Makes sense to me, I always give an abundance of grace and mercy to people in crisis.
What has surprised me about myself is that I have discovered I am a good person. I am a person I would be friends with. I would like me if I weren’t me!
I have discovered I am the same person broken as I am when I was whole. Why should I hide then? Maybe because I am so insecure now. Maybe because I lived so many years in ministry mode that if I reveal my identity I may start holding my breath with each word I express. Maybe because I have been hit so hard by those that I thought loved me unconditionally that I can’t trust anymore. Maybe my vessel is so broken I don’t know if it can be put back together now. Maybe because I am alone with no emotional support and I am afraid if I get another hit it may knock me over the edge. And maybe I really want to keep living and I really want to find life again.