I am so alone. It is hard to believe. After all these years, alone.

All I ever dreamt of was to have a family. A family and to grow old with the one I love with all my heart.

But here I am totally alone. Totally alone.

How I longed to have old friends to get together with and grow old with. But here I am old and alone. So very alone.

I absolutely hate being alone. Why am I this way you may ask? Because my husband died. He, the one I chose to love and grow old with, the one I had a family with, the one I had a career with, died.

I built my world totally around him and his desires and his friends and everything was about him and for him and with him. And now he is dead and they did not want me to be in their lives so they cast me aside. I am left with no one. Totally alone. A word to the wise never build your life totally around someone else, be true to yourself!

No job. No friends. No one. Alone. Totally alone.

I simply cannot bare this aloneness any longer. I simply cannot be so alone, so totally alone.


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