So it’s been a couple years since I’ve written here. I’ve gone through a second round of cancer where the doctor said I’d have two years to live, HER2+3 (triple positive +3 to be exact). The cancer was contained and I responded well to treatment but I’ve been to hell and back… well I’m on my way back. I’ve lost my home, twice. Like Many cancer patients I’ve used up my finances and have gone into deep debt in order to survive illness. Makes me very nervous. Deep sigh…
Life is very different now. I have a full-time job. I have an apartment of my own. I’m seeing a counselor getting treatment for PTSD and depression. I’m still alone. My daughter comes to visit every so often which is nice. Every so often I get to see friends. But mostly it’s just me. I’m finally OK with that.
I actually went back and re-read the whole blog backwards. When I was finished I thought maybe I should’ve started at the beginning and gone forward. I think, do I really even recognize the person that wrote this stuff – Was that really me?
I really don’t know what direction to go with this. Do I pick up and carry-on writing as if I’ve never missed a beat? Or do I try to catch you all up with my world? I don’t really know and I don’t really know if it matters. I ponder my reason for even starting this blog. I think I did because I was so overwhelmed with thought that I couldn’t make sense out of anything. It’s really no different now. Except now I understand some things.
Catch you later